WARNING: Those of you with weak stomachs need not read any further. This story may or may not tickle your gag reflex and/or make you vomit in your mouth a little bit.
Last night, we were just finishing up unloading everything from our wonderful, 4-day, camping trip. Getting the kids their dinner and baths before a much-needed early bedtime. The camper was in need of cleaning after so much use, so I offered to clean it if Aaron would agree to give the kids their baths. Deal! I actually don't mind cleaning if I don't have a small child trying to stick their hands in the toilet or hanging on to me until my pants fall down, so I saw this as my chance for some solitude.
Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.....taking my time, actually. Isn't it sad that I found solace in this little ounce of peace and quiet I was receiving? I was truly enjoying myself.....while cleaning sinks and toilets. Odd.
Aaron comes outside to find me with this word-for-word question. "Soooooo, what is the protocol for poop in the bathtub?" "The protocol?" I reply. We then discussed the situation. It seems that both children were already washed up and simply playing in the tub. Aaron turns to Jude, just in time to notice "THE LOOK." If you are a parent, you know THE LOOK quite well, I'm sure. That red-faced, nasal flaring, breath-holding LOOK that says "No, I'm not ashamed to be pooping right here in front of you. I simply cannot help myself. It must be done no matter what." Aaron catches Jude giving him THE LOOK and throws Maya from the tub without warning before she had the chance to be swimming with any foreign objects. Jude comes out next, but not until after he has skillfully laid 4 landmines in the water. Aaron sends Maya to "swim" in the other tub for awhile as he washes Jude up once again. This is where the question to me about protocol comes in.
Now, you must know that my little sis called me a few weeks ago with this exact same dilemma and Aaron couldn't believe that she didn't know what to do with a tub filled with poo. How ironic. Turns out, it's not something in his repertoire either.
I come inside to handle the situation while he handles the kids. There were a few "floaters," so I decided that those should probably go in the toilet since they were most-likely too big to go down the drain. TMI?? Well, just wait. So, Aaron is pacing back and forth by the door as I clean up and I say, "Well, I'm gonna have to put some of this in the toilet." and I begin to reach into the tub to grab the few pieces of poo with my bare hands. Now.....I have changed a bazillion poopy diapers and gotten so much poop on my hands that I have learned not to freak out about poop. Your hands WILL wash. It is a proven fact....one I've proven to myself many times. Aaron sees me doing this and he nearly gags while saying, "Oh My God, I'm going to throw up! Don't....oh, honey.....no wait....let me get you.....Oh My God....I can't believe you just did that! Disgusting! (insert another gag)" The rest of the poopy just got sent down the drain, cause it all goes to the septic whether it goes down the sink or the toilet around here. Then the tub got a thorough scrubbing.......by me. I got a lot of cleaning done last night!
Glad I had gotten my few moments of solitude while cleaning the camper. God must have known I was going to need them to face the rest of my evening.
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